I have this problem…Well, some people say it’s a talent, some say it’s a skill, I don’t know if anybody will say that it’s a curse…But I do feel that sometimes it’s a problem…especially if others find it uncomfortable….
Those who know me or at least, my blog may have realised that I have a knack for observing and analysing people… in my world, human beings and human emotions are THE most fascinating thing in the entire universe… There’s just something about how people function, how they feel, emotions that drive them and the stories that drive those emotions…
In life, I meet many different kind of people. Both the similarities and the differences that I observe in people from different walks of life never fails to captivate my interest…
What more, when you meet diamond among the jewels… When I stumble upon characters so different, mysterious or complex, I feel so drawn to figure out at least 10 % of who they are and what they’re made of… Rarity scintillates me….
So, I met a new character/friend/acquaintance…
And I wanted to put into words the amazingly complex yet subtle things I noticed about him… If he happens to read this and recognises what I wrote as himself, then I’ll rejoice because (thank god!!) I got the 10 % right…if he reads and couldn’t identify this character as himself, then I failed, which is fine, because that only makes him all the more interesting… if he doesn’t read it, then…hmmm… i don’t know…
To start with, he seems just like another popular city boy… Speaks really well, pretty good looking, popular, witty, surrounded by good friends, cheeky,
But….(there’s always a BUT)
I think there’s so much more to him than that almost-perfect popular city boy…
Surprisingly, he’s not a person of too many words. He can speak really well but I think he hardly ever uses that ability… Many people who speak well find it most comfortable to express themselves using words because they’ve got good control over language… but this boy, he speaks well and yet isn’t too comfortable using words to express himself… In many occasions, the only way to find out what he’s feeling is by sensing his aura and his body language… When he does use words to try to express himself, I find them to be almost always incomplete… an expression that seems to be lying loose in the air… it’s almost as if words aren’t enough to express what he’s thinking or how he’s feeling (or somewhat his feelings). It’s as if his emotions are too complex to be put into words…
He’s very cautious with words and what he says… Careful not to offend anybody (I definitely should learn that from him)… Careful not to give too much information… Careful enough to conceal 80% about his real thoughts or feelings… On the surface, he appears to be normal 19-year-old who only cares about football, friends, girls, appearance, popularity bla, bla, bla but I think he cares for and about a lot more deeper issues (than an average boy would really pay attention to)… Religion, philosophy, questions about the world and the people who live in it…
I think he’s a boy of many opinions and thoughts… So many… but yet it’s hard to get a chance to listen to at least one of it… maybe he’s afraid…afraid of rejection…rejection of his opinions or thoughts…afraid that people may look at him as some kinda weirdo because some of his opinions may be a little peculiar or perplexing for people his age… or maybe he feels no one would actually understand his opinion/thoughts/feelings anyway… So, why share… Maybe he’s in search for something or somebody with whom he can share those thoughts with… And he just hasn’t found that person…I’m not sure if I’m right but I think he still doesn’t trust people too much or trust them enough to let them into his life…
He feels some form of drive to prove to whomever it is who looks down on him that, he’s much more than his past mistakes or his superficial personality… He’s got the drive to want to improve but of course, being human, he, sometimes fail due to his weaknesses [lazy; want to give time to (at present) other more important things]…
Of course, there’s so much more to him (and to any character) but this is as far as I’ve got… maybe with time or fate, I may be blessed with chances to find out more…
Overall, I think he’s an amazingly good person, inside out… he’s got my respect for just being himself and teaching me many things that he probably didn’t even realise he taught me… Thanks to you, if you know who you are…
Oh ….another thing…
He’s got those very thoughtful eyes that speak a thousand words but nothing you and I can understand. And that is the worst part, cuz it keeps you guessing until you’ve gathered enough courage to ask him about it..
Oh, oh,… another one…
His smile is controlled, simple and innocent but I think, he wished I didn’t say that… cuz he wants to be a cool boy…not innocent…
