But…

Lord, though my optimism remains intact, my heart grieves, in unbearable magnitudes.

I cannot bring myself to grasp the cruelty that lingers on earth. The rapes, what more child rapes. The selfishness and the reluctance to adopt children, especially those that were born as a result of rape. I try so hard to hold my tongue back, to stop myself from unleashing the frustration that’s building up. I do not understand how one can profess love for God (regardless of the religion one is in) and yet find logic to deny a child the right to a good life, with parents because the child was a product of rape.

Isn’t a child, a child and a gift regardless of the consequences through which she came into the world? Does she not deserve the same amount of love? How does one deny the child life and justify it? Doesn’t one see the selfishness that decision is rooted in?

Lord, bring me out of this grief for I am drowning. I cannot bring myself to listen to all this and accept that there isn’t anything I can do to change that decision. Lord, You gave me Love in overflowing magnitudes but Lord, I need to give it away. Give me an opportunity to Love, O Lord, in ways befitting what You have given me. Or else, I may suffocate and drown and perhaps even die. Even if the body remains intact, the spirit may die and I will be lifeless being, walking around aimlessly.

I need to love. Please provide me an opportunity to do so. Amen.