Danielle

I have been feeling very uninspired lately, hence the lack of posts. Sometimes, amidst all the emptiness, I lose sight of the blessings He offers me.

Today I read about women and sexism
(You can read it too if you want
http://www.newsweek.com/id/235220)
and I had goosebumps reading what women went through to claim equality that they naturally deserved. It’s been a while since something I read hits straight at me, bringing me close to tears and filling me with an unimaginable amount of an overwhelming feeling.

I am a feminist. Different people tend to have different ideas and perception of feminism. Well, those who studied sociology would know these better. Just so that you have an idea, I am a feminist, who believe that men and women are equal. I do not believe we are the same but that we are different but equal. I do not believe that women can do everything men can do, in the same way men cannot do everything women can. I do not believe that, that difference means men are of a higher strata in the society than women. I do not agree with men who think that once married, women should become full time homemakers. I absolutely get frustrated with men who instead of empowering women to be independent, contribute to them being incapable of exploring their best potential.

My mother was a homemaker all her life, until she was 44 years old (can you believe that?). My father never quite agreed with women working if the man in the house is already working. When I was 15, my father underwent a major heart surgery, after which he was no longer able to perform at his workplace as he did before. He had to quit his job. Of course, by God’s grace, he received monthly compensation of SOCSO because of his condition. It was then, that my mother had to take up a job, to bring income to the family, so that we could make ends meet.

My father didn’t even feel a need for my mother to be able to drive a car or atleast ride a motorcycle until she had to start working. That was how dependent my mother was on my father. She could never go to a family gathering or any public gatherings without my father. It was like she did not have an identity of her own at all. I hated that. I hated seeing my mother feel so lost at public gatherings without my father. I could see how much her life has been affected because she has been living under the identity of my father.

It could be that these were some of the reasons why I am major advocate of equality of gender. I wanted women to be empowered, and have their own identity as well. I never wanted any women to be in a position where they’re unable to live life to the fullest because their potential has been limited by husbands who restrict women to a little box of roles.

That were things I’ve been pretty aware of since I was 15.

It was only now that I realised that who I am today, the gifts I have are Christ’s way of advocating for the same cause.

I am not your average female. You can ask any of the people who know me and they would tell you. And I say this not to boast for everything I have has been given to me by the grace of God. Hence, I possess nothing that I have. How can I claim ownership for something that was never my own?

I am a woman, who was brought up in a school where I was given plenty of leadership opportunities. When I was in the university, I was the first Indian female Timbalan Ketua Pembantu Mahasiswa of 6th college. I was the first President of the Biomedical Science Society of UM, and I am a female. I always stood equally tall as other men leaders, if not better. Men vote for me to be in leadership positions. Regardless of where I worked, I am respected to be an equal among the men.

No, I am not a tomboy, a woman with masculine traits. I am a woman, in all its essential meaning. I love children, I love dressing up, I love white dresses, I love wearing earrings, I love beautiful shoes, I love reading love stories, I love watching romantic comedies, I am sensitive to myself and to those around me, I am nurturing and caring, I look forward to getting married with a man I love, I dream of a perfect love story for myself, I get attracted to men. In total, I am a very feminine woman, who also happens to be very successful.

In all this that I am, I realised what God did with me from the beginning. He loved me to be the feminist I am. He made me that way for reasons I cannot understand. Perhaps, He wants others to learn to see women truly as an equal, not only superficially. My gifts are not my own. My Father gave them to me. That much He loved me that He made me a visible equal to men, that they may see and learn too. He loved me as an equal, though being God. I am humbled at how I learn new things everyday on how much He loves me.

If you are a man, and you are reading this, and you feel angered or frustrated at what I am saying, then maybe, there is a need for you to examine your conscience. Maybe, knowingly or unknowingly, you did not believe in gender equality. Maybe you practise selective gender equality. Maybe, deep down, you still believe that men are superior to women and women need to acknowledge that. Maybe, you have not been empowering women, instead you have been putting them to be inferior. If you find yourself doing anything of that, think again. I am living example, by God’s grace, that men and women are indeed created equally, different but equal, each for their purpose, each given gifts according to His own grace. No one is superior to the other, not by nature, not by role, not by any reason whatsoever.

Danielle
I truly thank Christ for Facebook Photos. They can be a great reminder of the many blessings I have in my life...

They say that human are one of the most forgetful creature ever... It is so easy for us to forget, especially the many good things we have and had in life, in the face of tribulations...

In times like those, Facebook Photos can be such great reminders about the unimaginable amount of love we are blessed with, atleast for me...

:)
Danielle
Although we're worlds apart in character, I always feel right at home with you...

thank you
Danielle
no, you're not in a wrong blog...

it is mine!!

just wanted a change!

ta-daaa!
Danielle
I've been waiting patiently for 22 years for you...
yet no signs or sights of you...

i dared not substitute you with anyone lesser,
so i waited
and am still waiting...

where are you?
what's taking you so long to find me?
or have you already found me
but cannot find the courage
to come to me?

whatever it is,
i am waiting and will continue to wait....

but don't take too long...
the waiting is killing me already...
Danielle

Interesting, I must say… I never quite dwelled on this till lately. Me, being quite a conservative, I never agreed with pre-marital sex. Obviously that was initially because I am Christian but later on, looking at the contemporary and the same time, the spiritual aspect of it, I was convinced that pre-marital sex was a ‘No-no’. There was a time that I didn’t find anything wrong with pre-marital sex. I wanted to be flexible, adaptive, democratic, to the freedom of choice. Anyhow, our consciences do differ.


But having learnt and understood the gift of sex and what it entails, it was difficult to be okay with pre-marital sex. Sex, as I view it (and maybe other Christians too) is not just something physical or emotional. It is more spiritual than anything else. It truly involves the union of two souls, bodies to become one. Sex, is the gift of God to us, to express love and to enjoy its fruitfulness. It enables for two persons to connect more than just in the mind, or in the heart. It enables two persons to connect at the soul level, spiritually.

It involves the total giving of self. It involves vulnerability, intimacy, sincerity, honesty, beauty, and above all this, Love. I cannot bring myself to agree with pre-marital sex because it is union without commitment and responsibility. A commitment made before God, who gave the gift of sex in the first place. So, sex without marriage (aka commitment before God), is already incomplete.


What more the issue of sexual incompatibility. The issue of sexual incompatibility that is being raised now, is even more disturbing to me because it is suggesting that you may love someone but you may be sexually incompatible with him/her. Hence, the need to test sexual compatibilities first, before marriage. Sex is a gift to couples who love each other and have made commitment to each other before God. But right now, we are trying to separate the two, where instead of sex being of a gift of love, it is becoming a factor for love. It is becoming more of ‘if we’re sexually compatible, then I can love you’ than ‘because I love you and am committed to you, I want to share the gift of sex with you.’


What is even worse is when one wants to test sexual compatibilities first before falling in love. It is a complete reversal of the fundamentality of love. Love resulting in the gift of sex has been topsy-turvied. Sex first, then we’ll decide on the love part of it. In my view, it is desecration of love.

It has come to a point where the so-called sexual compatibilities can be tested with mere strangers and there isn’t a need for love to be present in the relationship. How can I say that this ok? One compromise on love, and look at where we are. If we love someone, then we love him/her as who he is, all in all. If after marriage, the couple feels sexually incompatible, then work past it. Discuss it. Talk about it. Improvise. If there are certain sexual acts or postures our partner is dead uncomfortable with, then, is it not only right to find ways where both are happy with?


I don’t know if you believe in it, but I do. That love is unconditional, and that it puts what’s good for the other above self (and No, abuse is NOT included). Sex is the gift of love and not the other way round. There are certain things I cannot compromise, and this is definitely one of it.

Danielle
sexual in/compatibility

latest discussion topic with a friend that left me disturbed...

i don't even know where to begin on this one...

i wish i had the opinions of more people for this one....

care to comment? please? :)