He said again, ‘1,2,3, Jump!’ I looked at him and was almost pleading, ‘I don’t know how to jump. How do I jump? Can you just push me?’ He looked at me and said, ‘I can’t push you. It’s your choice to jump.’ ‘Okay, I don’t know how to jump, but I’m going to do what I can.’ It may have seemed that I was trying to climb down the edge. And then, I fell. I screamed my lungs out. I was falling down. I could see the world, everything was upside down. My screaming ceased and then, I was just enjoying the fall. I hit the water and then I got pulled back up. And then I fell again. Got pulled back up again. This repeated a few times before it stopped. Then I was just hanging there, upside down, with only a string holding my leg. A man, came to me in a boat, smiled at me, and asked, ‘Are you ok?’

I felt this great deep sense of joy and peace in my heart. I was hanging upside down and smiling my heart out. I couldn’t speak but I was overwhelmed with love and joy. I just smiled, all the way through after that. That was my bungee jumping experience. My first ever bungee jumping. I’ve always wanted to bungee jump but I never thought Malaysia will ever have it. When Sunway Lagoon had it, I knew I had to do it.

It was more than simply adrenaline rush. It was about the freedom that comes when we break free from of all the insecurities and just trust. As I was standing at the edge, I did consider backing out, justifying my decision to be logical and rational. As I was falling, I did consider the safety gear snapping, and me heading towards death. As I was hanging upside down for the man to come and get me, I did wonder if the rope will snap and I will fall and drown to death. I did consider all these possibilities. I thought of all the things that can go awfully wrong but at the end of the day, I just left it to God. I just said, ‘Lord, I trust you. Let’s just rock this.’ And the outcome: perfection and a breath of fresh air. It was liberating, joyful, and centred. I can’t quite put them in words that would do it justice.

The experience reminded me of what Brian Butler shared about the difference in his two children. There was the elder daughter who trusted the father, confident that the father will catch her when he throws her up. She enjoyed herself. As the father threw her up into the sky, she would attempt different poses, stretching out. She was not afraid to take risks and push boundaries, broke free from inhibitions and discovered new talents and opportunities. Then, there was the younger son, who feared that the father will drop him as he throws him up. He experienced the other end of the bargain. He clenched himself and pulled himself together as a 'safety precaution'. As a result, he was unable to try anything new, was fearful and did not enjoy the throw. Neither has he yet to explore the many possibilities stored in himself.

Simply put, the fruit of trust in God, especially in situations in which a clear positive outcome cannot be seen, in situations where the risk seems too big, in situations where things may no longer be in our control, would be ultimate liberation, joy, freedom and growth in faith in God as we come to discover that there is no way on heaven or earth that He will not catch you. All we need to do is invite Him into our lives.

And the fruit of distrust in God, is a lethargic life lived with insecurities and fear, a life of routine in which we exert our full control over all parameters accessible to us, failing to grow in faith as we do not give ourselves a chance to experience God’s power and grace, a life in which we fail to discover the many hidden potential and possibilities in our lives, which God is offering us.

Thank You God for being active and present in my life. Thank You for experiences that show me time and again that You are real and involved and the most Beautiful thing that has happened in my life.

Food for thought:

2 Cor 12:9: My grace is enough for you. For my power is made perfect in your weakness.
Freedom comes not with the ability to control the parameters present in our lives, but in the ability to let go of the grasp and let God lead.

There's only one thing to lose when we step out in faith... our insecurities...