I’ve been recently a little confused.

I think there is a significant number of us who search for the right one in our life. We want to find, identify the right one, or rather the one who is supposed to be destined for us.

I used to believe in the notion of the right one but over the years and experiences, my idea of the right one has evolved.

I think that the story of Adam and Eve possibly has shaped our perception of the right one. That God created a special someone for us and he or she will perfect our lives and fit us like gloves and complement us. There is the notion that when we meet the One, we would know and very often because of this idea of the right one, we continue to look for that someone. We continue to look for that someone who we believe will give us that feeling that everything is so right and fits so perfectly.

I’d like to find out from some married couples whether truly when they decided to marry their spouse, they knew beyond a reasonable doubt that he/she is the One.

Hearing stories about broken marriages and having witnessed a few, my idea of the right one was challenged.

I felt that it must be that quite a number of couples who decided to get married felt that they were marrying their Mr. or Ms. Right. Having had that conviction, why is there so many broken marriages, so many couples filing for divorce and so many breakups?

I mean when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married, didn’t they seem perfect for each other? Wouldn’t they have felt that they were right for each other? Now, that Brad Pitt is with Angelina Jolie, wouldn’t we also claim that they are also right for each other? What about Erra Fazira and Yusry KRU? They seemed perfect for each other and after about 3 years, they were no longer right for each other? All these incidences perplexed me and made me question the idea/l of the right one.

Why is it that at some stage of the married life or in a relationship, the person who was supposedly right for us few years ago, no longer seem right for us now? Why is that after the years of being married together, someone other than our spouse seem to fit the idea of the Right One better resulting in the many extramarital affairs that we hear of now?

Due to these observations, I felt that the Right One is whoever I decide for myself as the right one. I felt that God intervenes to make the relationship meaningful, right and love- and god-filled but I feel that He does not choose our life partners for us. It is possible that this is where it is more the responsibility of our freewill instead.

I felt that God puts people in our life, people whose life we can change and who can change our life in return. I felt that at the end of the day, I pick and decide the right one for me and present it to Him. In turn, He considers the case, decides whether or not my choice is made out of love and then supports me if He agrees and helps me in the relationship with my special one. And it is my duty and responsibility to be accountable for my decision and keep my promise to God that I will love him unconditionally as He has and cherish him in sickness and in health, till death do us apart.

And very often, when our vision is focused on someone or something else that seems so right for us, we might miss out on other beautiful things that are right in front us.

It is not that they were never there. It is that we were not looking.

At the end of the day, It is not fate. It is sight.