permanent
Danielle
Today was his birthday. And we all threw him a big and the best kind of party that we could think of because we loved who he is and wanted to celebrate this amazing kind soul’s 21 years of LIVING. It was an amazing celebration, not because of how many people turned up but who turned up. It was a gathering of a huge family, close knitted, warm hearted family.

Everytime a big and meaningful celebration such as this happens, when everyone is joyous and excited and happy and so enthusiastic with the celebration, i noticed that i have a tendency to be quieter, more observant and tend to withdraw myself from the crowd. Today i understood why i respond in that manner.

Everytime, something so perfect and meaningful happens, the first thought to cross my mind was always, “How long will this last?”. Being a sceptic to the word permanent, i never really believed that anything in this world was ever permanent. My subconscious mind believes all things, the little families you make for yourself, the friendships, the effort, everything comes to an end, eventually.

I guess it was for this reason that i was somewhat obsessed with carpe diem, live for TODAY. Because i never really believed in tomorrow. And i guess, i fear, dread, that day when things change, when people who mean the world to you no longer do, when the connection shared with some special friends are lost, when dynamics of a relationship/friendship change, when everything that is left is mere memory.

I dread that day. I dread the day when he and i aren’t as close as we are, dread the day when everyone would have a family for themself that they wouldn’t need this family anymore, dread when priorities will change and i will no longer be part of it. Sounds selfish? I’m sorry.

I really pray that i am wrong because if i am not, i know i would be extremely nostalgic if not hurt, just thinking of these people and the moments we shared.
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TODAY
Danielle
Last week in Advance Molecular Biology class, we learned about the Alzheimer’s disease.
Honestly, I found Alzheimer’s disease extremely fascinating. A thought many of my friends found troubling as they felt pity and sad for people with the disease whereas I found them to be extremely fascinating.

In lay man’s term, Alzheimer’s is a disease that often affects the older generation. A person with Azheimer’s usually experiences short term memory loss, where the individual can remember his/her past eg 20 years back but cannot seem to recall his/her recent present incidences.

For example, an Alzheimer’s patient may remember his 20 year old son as his 5 year old little boy as he can only recall memory from 15 years back. Well, he may not even remember his wife as he may be only able to remember his life when he was 15 years old.

Being someone who never really believed in coincidences, I wondered what is it that God was trying to tell by the existence of such a disease. A disease that doesn’t allow you to remember your present but only your past.

I’ve always believed that every thing, be it a disease, the sky, the rainbow, your enemies, every little element in the world is some sort of a manifestation of God’s message.

To me, Alzheimer was telling me to appreciate your present, today, as you may not even remember it tomorrow. Everyday is for LIVING. So, live it without regrets. Appreciate every simple person in life and tell them what you feel about them, because tomorrow you may not even remember them.

Sometimes, I wondered if I was too impulsive, too bold, for I always feel a need to tell others how I feel about them, especially if it’s something positive. Sometimes, I wondered if it’s necessary. I mean why the need to tell others how you feel about them? You can show it in your actions, right? Then why, do I feel a strong urge to tell people that I really appreciate the little things they do for me.

Because as much as actions seems to be strong enough, but words clarify, reinstate and consolidate. Words require courage because it involves direct confession or acknowledgement about how you truly feel.

And life is too short to be living it for tomorrow. So, I chose to live it for TODAY.
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